Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday Musings - Oxymorons (ahahaha...No....Not Me!)

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27.Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?  

28.  Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?  

I dunno, why do we?

Peace and Joy,

1 Peter 2:24 (NKJV) who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.


Mary said...

Great points to ponder! I especially like #21!

Pam said...

Love these!

Joyce said...

These were good! Enjoy your Monday!

Angel Muly said...

You are too funny. Thanks for always making me laugh. Love, Angel

KrippledWarrior said...

Why do you only get one item when you buy a pair of pants?
Why do 7-11 stores have a lock on the door, when they say they're always open.

Heart2Heart said...

If you eat animal crackers are you a carnivore? If so what do you call a vegetarian who eats animal crackers?

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

skoots1mom said...

reminds me of GEORGE CARLIN...he always asked these kinds of oxymorons