It's Spring Y'all!!!

You might be wondering where I have been. I've been many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
 
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. 
 
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
 
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
 
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
 
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
 
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
 
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!


I personally live in the state of Confusion. It's a fun place to be and there are a lot of other people here.

Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly! From one unstable person to another ... I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty well in mine.
 
Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Have a wonderful and blessed day.


Peace and Joy,
Susan

Psalm 126:2 (NKJV) ² Then our mouth was filled with laughter, And our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”

Monday Musings - Six Days in Jail

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting.

When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" she replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Six."

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

He said, "What is it?"

The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Have a fabulous week.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

Romans 15:7 (NIV)  Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Never Judge a Book....

Never judge a book by it's cover because the story inside could be the one that changes your life. You need to take time to look inside and give it a chance.

Hmmm, first I need a book to study

All the books I want seem to be checked out already lol

...mine too

...we need to move to a city that has a BIGGER library!!! with better quality and more interesting "books".....

For sure....always end up with paper cuts too...they hurt the worse

yes they do~!!!or some of the pages are missin!!! that happens frequently to me!!!

don't u love it when u get the books and find out the pages are also torn and wore out and just can't read them anymore...let's build a new inventory for the library lol

Or you find out you're sharing that "book" with someone else...

ya that's happened too...the COMMUNITY book...lol

I have found some good "books" with good storyline, then there comes a twist and ruins the ending...or has a series...to be continued

Gotta love them " sequels " ...not!!! 

This exchange was on a friend's FB wall. I love the parallel. Thought it was funny. Had to share.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

2 Corinthians 13:14 (NKJV) ¹⁴ The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.

Fall Head Over Heals HodgePodge

1. Do you like chili? Red or white? Beans or no beans? Spice or no spice? Toppings? Why, yes. Yes, I do like chili. Red chili. With some beans (I like more beef than beans, thank you). Not too spicy. I want to taste the goodness.

2. Red~Orange~Gold...your favorite fall color? I'm a Red kinda girl.You're surprised, yes?

3. Who did you idolize when you were growing up? Cowboys. There are a few different versions of "The Cowboy Code" but here are the main points:

1. I believe that to have a friend, a man must be one.
2. That all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world.
3. That God put the firewood there, but that every man must gather and light it himself.
4. In being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for that which is right.
5. That a man should make the most of what equipment he has.
6. That "this government, of the people, by the people, and for the people," shall live always.
7. That men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number.
8. That sooner or later...somewhere...somehow...we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken.
9. That all things change, but the truth, and the truth alone lives on forever.
10. I believe in my Creator, my country, my fellow man.

4. When was the last time you did something 'arts and craftsy'? Share please. I'm finishing up my latest 'artsy craftsy project. You'll have to wait tho. It's for a gift. She reads here sometimes. I don't want to spoil it.

5. What's a place that makes you really nervous? The dentist office.

6. Horse back riding...yay or nay (neigh?) Oh yes. I've owned horses. Sometimes, I miss it. Most days, I don't. They are a lot of work.

7. What is your favorite cliche? If you're not gonna use your head, you might as well be feet on both ends.

8. Insert your own random thought here. To go along with the "cowboy" theme.....head 'em up, and move 'em out. This is too funny

Do you have your fall gotta do list yet? For some ideas, be sure to check out my new fall gottado list here!

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Please hop on over to Joyce's to read other participants answers or better yet, link up with your own.

Peace and Joy,

Susan

Joel 2:23 (NIV) ²³ Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.

Lordy, Lordy, The HodgePodge is 40!!!!

 

1. Using what's in your frig right now what sort of meal would you be able to make for guests who are knocking at the front door this very minute? Let's see. I have a family pack of 12 pre-made hamburger patties. I can just throw them on the grill along with corn on the cob and beans. Instant party!

2. What is something about yourself that you hope will change but that probably never will?  I procrastinate about things.....sometimes.

3. What's something about yourself that you hope will never change?  My sense of adventure.

4. Do you usually send serious or funny greeting cards? Why? That totally depends on the person and the occasion.

5. Bird watching, shell gathering, or star gazing- your choice for whiling away the hours? I'm so a bird nerd. Thank you, Grandma.

6. Do you double or triple check things? If so, what? Turning off the stove, locking the door, locating my phone.

7. What's your favorite place for people watching? The zoo! ahahaha.

8. Insert your own random thought here. Summer is almost over....huge sigh! I can't believe how fast it went by. School either started or will start in the next day or two. I did not make it to a water park again this summer. I did finally make it pool side. Last week. My summer gotta do list is slowly being whittled away. There will be a fall list that will take me into the holiday season. What about you? Do you make lists? How are you doing on yours?

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Please hop on over to Joyce's to read other participants answers or better yet, link up with your own.

Peace and Joy,

Susan

2 Corinthians 7:1 (NKJV)  ¹ Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

What I Learned from a Cow!

Everything I need to know I learnt from a cow

1. Wake up in a happy mooo-d.

2. Don't cry over spilled milk.

3. When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no 
calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!

4. The grass is green on the other side of the fence.

5. Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.

6. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!

7. It's better to be seen and not herd.

8. Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.

9. Never take any bull from anybody.

10. Always let them know who's the bossy.

11. Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.

12. Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.

13. Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.

Perhaps you learned something from a cow today too. lol. Thank you so much for stopping by and visiting. 


Peace and Joy,
Susan

Romans 14:8 (NKJV) ⁸ For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

Basic Information Before Leaving Earth (aka BIBLE)

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and  replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young  boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
=======
There was a very  gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible  to her brother in another part of the  country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?"  asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the  lady.
========
"Somebody has said  there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning!"
========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment.  Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
 
========

There  is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and  announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
========
                                       
While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage.  The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
========

A Sunday School  teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys  and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand  shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the  kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?"  the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
========

A  minister waited in line to have his car filled  with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The  attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled,  "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
========

People want the  front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
=======

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed.  Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
========

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church  building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play."Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star  Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! 

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Have a blessed week.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

James 1:22 (NKJV) ²² But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

My "A-ha" Moment

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!!!!  It's the shampoo I use in the shower!   When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,  FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY!

NO wonder I have been gaining weight!!!

Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap instead.. Their label reads,  DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.  Problem Solved!!! 

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. May you find humor in even the smallest events in your life. Have a fabulous week. 

Peace and Joy,

Susan

Psalm 119:114 (NKJV)  ¹¹⁴ You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.

Monday Musings - Shark!

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden he sees a shark in the water, so he starts swimming furiously towards his boat.

As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and head towards him. He's scared to death, and as he sees the jaws of the great white beast open, revealing its horrific teeth, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"

In an instant, time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?"

Confused, and knowing he can't lie, the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?"

The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracts back into the heavens. The man feels the water move once again.

As the atheist looks back, he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.

Shocked, the man watches as the huge beast closes its eyes, bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food which I am about to receive..."

Remember to always be thankful for even the smallest blessings. Thanks for stopping by. Have a fabulous week.

Peace and Joy,

Susan

Jeremiah 32:17 (NKJV) ‘Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You.

Throne Trip Tuesdays - Kids Say the Darndest Things

A fourth grade teacher gave her students a fun assignment. The students were to provide original endings to some famous sayings.Here are some examples of what the students submitted.

- The grass is always greener when you leave the sprinkler on.

- A rolling stone plays the guitar.

- The grass is always greener when you remember to water it.

- A bird in the hand is a real mess.

- No news is no newspaper.

- It's better to light one candle than to waste electricity.

- It's always darkest just before I open my eyes.

- You have nothing to fear but homework.

- If you can't stand the heat, don't start the fireplace.

- If you can't stand the heat, go swimming.

- Never put off 'til tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.

- A penny saved is nothing in the real world.

- The squeaking wheel gets annoying.

- We have nothing to fear but our principal.

- To err is human. To eat a muskrat is not.

- I think, therefore I get a headache.

- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, "Shut up!"

- Better to light a candle than to light an explosive.

- It's always darkest before 9:30 p.m.

- Early to bed and early to rise is first in the bathroom.

- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a blister.

- There is nothing new under the bed.

- The grass is always greener when you put manure on it.

- Don't count your chickens -- it takes too long.

 Has one of your children said something funny you'd like to share? I'd love to hear it.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

Matthew 19:14 (NKJV) But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

Monday Musings - Open Heart

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage.

"Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its' heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic.....

"Try doing it with the engine running."

I'm like that with God sometimes. I think I know the best way to do something. Or I take credit for a skill. I'm sure He laughs at me and shakes His head. It is my His mercy and grace that I am still breathing. What about you? Have you ever tried to help God? How did that work out for you? 


Peace and Joy,
Susan

Ecclesiastes 11:5 (NKJV) As you do not know what is the way of the wind, Or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child, So you do not know the works of God who makes everything.

Monday Musings - Fishing Mirror

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"

"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."

"Wow! Does that really work?"

"You bet it does."

"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."

"Well, okay."

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"

"You're the sixth," he said.

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Have a fabulous week.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

2 Peter 1:5-7 (NKJV) ⁵ But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, ⁶ to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, ⁷ to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.

Monday Musings - Spring

That's right. Spring. It's just around the corner.

Yep, it's a groaner. But I thought it was funny. Hope you do too. Have a great week.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

Isaiah 25:1 (NKJV) O LORD, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name, For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

Monday Musings - Artists + Wire = ??

A little something to bring a smile to your face and start your week with a laugh.

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Have a fabulous week.

Peace and Joy,

Susan

Job 8:21 (NKJV)  He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, And your lips with rejoicing.

Monday Musings - Two Feet of Snow

Some of you have much more than two feet of snow over the past few weeks. Several of you have endured what many are calling the snowmageddon. Even in the south, there has been snow. Here is what two feet of snow looks like in my neck of the woods:

ahahaha! Sorry. I couldn't pass it up. Thanks for stopping by and visiting. Have a fabulous week.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

Psalm 126:2 (NKJV) Then our mouth was filled with laughter, And our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”

Monday Musings - The New Librarian

The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "contract" for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a 2nd grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as was the custom.

The new librarian pushed the books back, smiled, and told him to sign them out. The boy carefully printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the new librarian could even start her speech he said scornfully, "At least that other librarian we had could write."

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Have a fabulous week.

Peace and Joy,
Susan

Psalm 86:5 (NIV)  You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.

Definitions by the Alphabet

I'm joining Kim at Homesteader's Heart for Friday Funnies; and Java at Never Growing Old for Follow Friday 40 and Over.

ADULT: 
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.  

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.  
  
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.  

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.  

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.  

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.  

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.  

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.  

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.  

RAISIN: A grape with a sunburn.  

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.  

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.  

TOOTHACHE:  
The pain that drives you to extraction.  

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.  

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.  


And MY Personal Favorite!!  

WRINKLES: Something other people have,  
Similar to my character lines.

Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Have a fabulous weekend.

Peace and Joy,

Susan

John 4:24 (NKJV) God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

Go TEAM! HodgePodge

That's right. The Playoffs are over and two teams have emerged triumphant: the Greenbay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Our lovely host, Joyce From This Side of the Pond wants to know:

1. Will you watch the Super Bowl? If so who will you root for? If you are outside the USA what is the 'big deal sporting event' in your own country? Me? Watch the Super Bowl? Absolutely! Here's how big a football fan I am. The Green Bay/Chicago game is minutes from starting. My cell phone rings. It's my dad. "So, who are you betting on?" Me, "I'm not betting on anyone." Dad, "Oh come on. I know you're rooting for one of them." Me, "Yes. I think Green Bay will win. Chicago has been surprisingly good. But I think Green Bay will pull it off." The Super Bowl? I'm not a huge Steelers fan, so I'm going with Green Bay. Go PACK! Have you seen Aaron Rodgers? No? Let me help you out. This is Aaron with my friend, Abby (she's the brunette on the left). She was in Green Bay attending a meeting a couple years ago when this was taken.

2. Is ignorance bliss? I don't know about it being bliss, but in some instances you are better off not knowing everything. Case in point. My hubby works at the prison. One of my best pals is married to a police officer. There are things about their jobs we are just better off not knowing.

3. Which of the seven dwarfs are you? (and just in case your Disney is a little bit rusty, here they are-Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, and Sneezy) Happy!

4. When you are riding in the car with another couple how do you organize the seating? (Men up front? Women up front? Couples sit together?) And thanks to Lori at Mountain Woman at Heart for the question! Everyone go say hi to Lori. HI LORI!!!! I'd have to say that more times than not, the men are in the front.

5. What is beauty? The inner godly qualities of compassion, love, hope, nobility, integrity, faith that shine through and enrich the lives others.

6. If someone asks you to bring an appetizer or a dessert to a party in their home, which would you choose? Does a bottle of wine count? lol. No? Then I would choose a dessert.

7. What is your crowd pleasing go-to appetizer?My homemade salsa and chips.

8. Insert your own random thought here. I was updating my calendar today. I love having a busy life. I must, because I have something scheduled three nights out of five every week. I already have four different vacations planned with dates set. I have three more to get scheduled. Who else has their 2011 calendar filling up with commitments before January is over?

Thank you so much for stopping by and visiting. If you'd like to link up with your own answers to the HodgePodge, please visit our lovely hostess, Joyce From This Side of the Pond.

Peace and Joy,

Susan

Philippians 4:8 (NKJV) Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

My Housecleaning Philosophy

I don't do windows because...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible ( plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind the dust bunnies because...
They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.

I don't disturb cobwebs because...
I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don't Spring Clean because...
I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.

I don't put things away because...
My husband will never be able to find them again.

I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because...
I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don't iron because...
I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press."

I don't stress much on anything because...
"A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!

Peace and Joy,
Susan

2 Corinthians 9:8 (NKJV) And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.